Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Using weather to set the mood

Weather is a great tool to use to set the mood of a scene.  It doesn't come naturally to me--I have to remind myself to do it--but I think it almost always improves the text.  And, in cases where the mood might not be otherwise spelled out, the weather can solidify that mood in the reader's mind.

For example, consider this scene:


Killian stood in the midst of the mourners and watched Jenny's casket disappear.  The gravediggers cranked the mechanism, and the straps unspooled, lowering her into the ground.  Above them, a gentle rain pitter-pattered on the green canopy like some funereal drumbeat. 

Killian had no umbrella, and his hair was matted. Drops of rain rolled down his face.  He didn't wipe them away.

The others sniffed and coughed, but exchanged no words.  There was nothing to say, really.  A bright, beautiful young woman was gone forever, and for no good reason.

Killian shivered.  He was soaked, and the cold and damp was leaching into his bones.


Now consider the same scene, but with different weather and reactions to that weather:


Killian stood in the midst of the mourners and watched Jenny's casket disappear.  The gravediggers cranked the mechanism, and the straps unspooled, lowering her into the dry, hard-baked soil. 

Killian wiped the sweat from his brow for perhaps the millionth time.  His undershirt was soaked, and he undoubtedly had sweat stains.  For that reason, he kept his suit jacket on.  Taking it off wouldn't have helped much anyway.

Some of the others swayed in the heat, but no one exchanged words.  There was nothing to say, really.  A bright, beautiful young woman was gone forever, and for no good reason.  It was as tragic as death got, and enduring the sweltering day was just another part of the social contract.

Killian began to get dizzy.  He stuck a finger inside his collar and tugged, trying to loosen its grip on his neck.


And one more variation:


Killian stood in the midst of the mourners and watched Jenny's casket disappear.  The gravediggers cranked the mechanism, and the straps unspooled, lowering her into the ground.  All around, wisps of fog curled around suit-legs and panty-hosed calves, shrouding the land in cloudy mist.

Killian couldn't discern many details from where he stood.  The gravediggers were only shapes, wraiths moving back and forth under the canopy's shadow.  The fog condensed wherever it could, and he felt soggy, like a wet sponge.  Drops of condensation occasionally rolled down his face.  He didn't wipe them away.

The others sniffed and shuffled their feet, and the sounds were alien in the fog... malevolent, even.  Many eyes darted around, wary of the twisting shadows and their ghostly noises, but no words were exchanged.  And there was nothing to say, really.  A bright, beautiful young woman was gone forever, and for no good reason.

Killian shoved his hands deeper into his pockets and scowled.


In the first example, I was going for a sad, solemn mood.  In the second, I wanted to add a little tension.  And in the third, I wanted to make it mysterious and a little scary.

Did I succeed?  Well... that's for the reader to decide.  ;)

If you're not using the weather to help set or bolster a mood, then consider giving it a try.

No comments:

Post a Comment