Saturday, May 13, 2017

Happy Mother's Day any mothers who might be reading.

KFC is getting in on the celebration, too.  They've published a romance novella featuring Colonel Sanders.  It's called--and this is not a joke--Tender Wings of Desire:

Go to the Amazon site and read the reviews.  They're priceless.  An excerpt:

I have already gifted this to myself, pulling up to the Amazon drive thru and hurling it through cyberspace to my Kindle. Having begun to dig into this bucket of love, my breasts are already heaving at the tender way the words just fall off the bone of this manuscript.


One has to wonder, though, if the romance genre was really the best way to go.  I mean, mothers read a variety of things, not just romance, so why not publish, say, a mystery?  Perhaps Colonel Sanders is a hard-boiled private detective working the mean streets of North Corbin, Kentucky.  By day, he's a chicken seller, but by night, he's a lone crusader, a pursuer of justice for those who have no other recourse.  Instead of a gun, he carries a pair of trusty drumsticks with which he batters (heh) his enemies.

Or maybe science fiction would be better.  Colonel Sanders is a starship captain in the Extra Crispy Navy.  He's also a cyborg, a creation of KFC Labs, made for one purpose: to defend the Chicken Republic from the invading hordes of the Beef Empire.  There can be no coexistence, for Emperor Burger is determined to eliminate the consumption of chicken from the galaxy.

How about fantasy: Harland Sanders is an amateur wizard.  One day, he gets a call to adventure: a more experienced wizard has offered him a deal.  Harland agrees to use his most powerful spell--The Secret Recipe--in exchange for access to the wizard's customer base.  Together, they work their magic in a wondrous land called Utah, hoping to demonstrate that a chicken restaurant can in fact bring joy and peace to the world, in addition to being financially viable, so long as one has the eleven herbs and spices in the proper proportions.

Anyway, just a few thoughts.  KFC writers, get to it!  :D

And Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere.  :)

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